Sunday, October 29, 2017

Happy birthday Gabrielle Union!

That's right! Mrs. Union-Wade is 45 today. I am so grateful for her metamorphosis and continued growth. See, I wasn't always a fan of hers. Truth is, I knew she WAS a mean girl. I watched movies like Bring It On and Deliver us from Eva and thought to myself "She's not acting; she's being her authentic self." The reads and elitist disposition were too perfect. Then came the speech she gave at the Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon in 2013.

On that day, she admitted to the world that she hadn't always wanted the best for her peers; to the contrary, she thrived on the misery of others (I'm paraphrasing). Further, competition for limited roles attributed to her believing that the success of others would diminish her shine. I watched the video and marveled at her willingness to be transparent and receive the judgment that followed.

I had the pleasure of meeting Gabrielle on October 20th at SCAD Show, right here in ATL. She was in town promoting her bestselling memoir We're Going to Need More Wine. What an experience that was. Much to my liking, she has a potty mouth and uttered just enough cuss words. Having read the first half of the book, I was familiar with many of the stories she shared. Y'all know she's from Omaha, Nebraska right? What about the rape she experienced while working at Payless? Gabrielle once "stole" a young lady's boyfriend and was stalked/attacked by the girl's friend, Queeshaun. As an adult, she once tried to treat a yeast infection by using a McDonald's straw to insert vanilla-flavored yogurt into her vagina. Gabrielle is a proponent of reciprocal sexual relationships. If you want fellatio, be prepared to perform cunnilingus; eat a little ass while you're at it. Now, speculation has been rampant on the internet with respect to whether she eats the booty like groceries. I don't know. I didn't ask. Sway did (see below). The highlight of the evening was high-fiving her when she complimented the "Dear God" shirt I was wearing. When asked to offer words of wisdom (actually, just four words) to young women, her response was "Have your own shit." That message is germane to men as well.

One of the highlights of the book is the discussion of the significance of Prince. I won't go into too much detail, but Gabrielle opined that he was responsible for facilitating critical networking opportunities and questioned who would/could function in that capacity now that he has transitioned. Well, my answer is simple: You can do it, Gabrielle! And when you have a function in Atlanta, please make sure my black ass is on the list. Oh, I hope you enjoyed the contents of the gift bag I left for you: rainbow-colored teddy bear, gold crown, and a Welch's grape juice.

If y'all haven't purchased the book yet, here's the link. Good night, my lovelies!

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